MYTH: “Rape is rare. It doesn’t happen to anyone I know.”
FACT: Unfortunately, sexual violence is disturbingly common, and occurs in every part of our society, regardless of race, class, education, or wealth. Statistics show that 1 in 4 (25%) women will be raped or sexually assaulted by the age of 18. For men, 1 in 6 (17%) will experience sexual violence by the age of 18. Over the course of their lifetime, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men will be raped or sexually assaulted. So, if you know more than 5 people, then chances are you know someone who has experienced a sexual violation.
We may get the idea that it doesn’t happen that often because it is one of the least reported crimes. Only approximately 1/3 of rape victims report the crime to law enforcement, and 1/3 of victims never tell anyone about what happened to them.

MYTH: “If they’ve had consensual sex before it’s not rape.”
FACT: A husband can rape his wife and a boyfriend can rape his girlfriend. Even if a woman has had consensual sex with someone in the past, that person can rape her if he forces her to have sex when she does not want to.

MYTH: “Rape is not a big deal; it is only sex.”
FACT: Rape is a big deal. It is a crime of dominance and control using sex to express power and anger. Sex is between two consenting partners, while rape is an aggressive act using sex as a weapon. To be raped is to be violated and stripped of control and self-determination. It is usually experienced as life-threatening by the victim, even if no physical violence is used or threatened.
Being sexually assaulted has a devastating effect on the victim and pervades every aspect of their life, including their relationships with other people, their sense of self, and their feelings of safety. More than half of victims develop symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. They are more susceptible to other mental health issues, particularly depression. Victims of sexual assault are nine times more likely to attempt suicide than non-victims. They are also many times more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.

MYTH: “Rape only happens to teenagers or young women, and only those who are attractive and sexy.”
FACT: While women between the ages of 16 and 24 are at higher risk for being assaulted (the highest risk time is the first semester of college), sexual offenders prey on victims of every age, body type, and level of physical attractiveness. They assault infants, senior citizens in wheelchairs, and pregnant women. They violate women, men, girls and boys. Again, sexual assault is not about sexual attraction or arousal, it is about power and control.

MYTH: “Rape victims are just asking for it with the way they dress or act. Good girls don’t get raped.”
FACT: This is an example of blaming the victim. Women’s behavior or what they wear is irrelevant. No one is responsible for someone else's violent behavior. To act provocative or to wear sexy clothing does not mean you want sex or are asking to be raped. The attitudes behind this myth betray a double standard. According to this double standard, sexual feelings and expression are acceptable for men, but unacceptable for women.
Furthermore, victims are just as likely to be assaulted dressed up like an Eskimo as they are in a bathing suit. The most common piece of clothing being worn by victims at the time they are assaulted is not a short skirt or a revealing shirt, but blue jeans; because that’s what people wear most often, and so it is what they happen to be wearing at the time they are assaulted.

MYTH: “All rapists are mentally ill or perverts. You can identify a rapist by the way he looks.”
FACT: Most rapists are men with no obvious signs of mental illness, and only 5% of sex offenders have a mental illness that impairs their ability to tell right from wrong. In study after study, researchers are unable to find any significant psychological difference between men who rape and men who do not rape. Perpetrators don’t look any different than non-perpetrators. Most look like (and are) average guys, often with wives and families.

MYTH: “Men rape because they need sex.”
FACT: Men (or women) do not rape because they need or want sexual gratification. They rape because they want to feel powerful by controlling or humiliating another person. The majority of sex offenders have access to an available, consenting sex partner at the time.

MYTH: “Men who rape other men are gay.”
FACT: In fact, 95% of men who rape or sexually assault other men identify as heterosexual (straight). Rape is not motivated by sexual attraction or arousal. Rape is an act of power, control, and domination, whether the chosen victim is male or female. It is not a sexual act and it does not relate to sexual orientation. Moreover, being the perpetrator or the victim of rape cannot change a person’s sexual orientation.

MYTH: It is impossible to rape someone who says they want to have sex.
FACT: In order for a person to legally consent to sexual activity, they have to be willing, knowing, and of a minimum age (16 years old in NC). If someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs to the point that they are not fully aware of their surroundings or what they agreeing to (ie, knowing), then even if they agree to or request sex, then legally they are still being assaulted or raped if sexual activity ensues.

MYTH: The motive for rape is sexual. Rape is the result of either uncontrollable sexual urges or a lack of sexual opportunities.
FACT: The motive for rape is the need to feel powerful and in control. Forcing someone to engage in sexual intercourse against her or his will is an act of violence and aggression. Sex is the weapon used to humiliate and control the victim. Sexual offenders are not driven by uncontrollable sexual urges, but by an inability to release feelings of anger and helplessness.

MYTH: The victim must fight back for it to be called rape.
FACT: Fighting back is not a criterion for rape. Rape is being forced to have sex. Even a threat of physical force that prevents an individual from resisting is defined as rape.
Since most victims know their perpetrator, usually there is no physical force used. Instead, emotional force (e.g., threats, manipulation, coercion) is used, which is harder to fight back against. Victims may be less likely to fight back because, ironically, they don’t want to hurt the other person, because they are in shock or disbelief that someone they trusted could violate them, or because they are afraid they will be hurt worse if they fight back.

MYTH: When men are sexually aroused, they need to have sex or it will be physically painful or harmful to them. Also, once they get turned on, men can't stop themselves from forcing sex on a partner.
FACT: Men don't physically need to have sex after becoming aroused any more than women do. Moreover, men are always able to control themselves even after becoming sexually excited. Saying that they can’t control themselves is just an excuse.

MYTH: Women falsely accuse men of rape.
FACT: The FBI has stated that false reports of rape are no higher than false reports for other crimes. Such accusations account for only 2% of reported rapes.

MYTH: Alcohol has nothing to do with sexual assault.
FACT: Approximately 75% of all rapes and sexual assaults involve alcohol, with one or both of the involved parties having been drinking.